Dropping Little Nuggets

In your pursuit of happiness, be careful not to become a casualty to comfort!

(Comfort, AKA a sign that you may be missing the opportunity for growth and acceleration.)

#shetalkslife

The Children’s Book that Read My Life!

My hubby took our son to the library yesterday and got some cool new books to read. During his nightly bedtime routine my husband read the little guy a book of his choice. Our son, being the Boss-Baby that he is, convinced me to re-read the same book to him because I missed the initial reading by my husband.

This book was called the Good Egg and though child-like in imagery, had a message most suitable for the adults they knew would be reading it. A message that quickly read me from start to finish like it was nothing – GULP!

The Good Egg was one of twelve eggs in it’s carton. The other eggs were not so well behaved and made huge messes all the time, broke things on purpose and cared very little of the consequences. The Good Egg, living up to his name, took it upon himself to clean up after everyone and fix all of their messes to the point of exhaustion and self-deprivation.

One day as the Good Egg looked in the mirror he realized a ton of cracks at the top of his shell. He decided to leave his home and get away from the bad eggs in order to have some time for self-care. After giving himself plenty of time for pleasure and self-care, his cracks had healed and he realized he was lonely and decided to go back to his home with his family and friends. BUT with a new attitude. He was no longer fixing everyone else’s messes, or trying to right everyone’s wrong’s. He would take responsibility for himself only and allow his companions to do the same.

WOW!

This children’s book spoke to the perfectionist in me. The mom in me. The wife in me. The care-giver in me. The sister in me. The friend in me. The daughter in me. It spoke to the fixer-upper in me. I mean, it pretty much just read my life from start to finish.

Though I don’t see my family and friends as bad eggs, I’d be lying to say that their needs haven’t become a priority over my own needs at times. I can also see how my over-achieving perfectionism has in some cases stunted their own growth and personal development.

I recognize moments in my life where seeing the cracks in the mirror scared me. But instead of taking pre-caution in the form of self-care, I bottled up my emotions and kept on over-doing and over-pleasing. This nearly caused my demise. I had to learn the hard way to STOP being everyone’s keeper. I am the mother of ONE – and not of the entire egg-carton.

Thank you to the author of the Good Egg for this unexpected reminder of self-care – I needed it.

Question, When is the last time you were intentional about taking time for you – and only you? Would you be bold with me and start today? What about 5 minutes a day moving forward?

I’d love to hear what your current self-care routine looks like or what you want it to look like. I’m all ears.

#shetalkslife  

Distractions

If there is one thing I’ve learned recently, almost on accident, is that distractions are purely the death of all things good and forth-moving!

I’ve noticed that every complicated measure recently, has been almost always attributed to some form of distraction blind-siding my attention away from what I should’ve been focusing on. Anything from the smallest dime-sized distraction, to the monstrous ones that take me months to recognize and recover from. So much so, that I have now developed a point of action when it comes to winning the battle of being distracted.

…Here’s a High Level Overview:

  1. Be conscious of goals – being aware of my goals and strategies allow me to be conscious of anything that side-steps it’s progress.
  2. I’ve learned to Recognize distractions in 3 easy ways:Does it align with my goals, purpose and Identity? (Having a firm understanding of these three elements is crucial. If you realize you don’t have a clear understanding of these foundational truths, it may be time for some self-reflection.)
    1. Is this self-giving if you are a people pleaser? Or selfish in motive, if you are selfish-natured? (obviously this requires MAJOR vulnerability for honesty.)
    2. Does the end goal of this thought, act of service etc. limit my ability for moving forward? (This is a big one.)
  3. Hands up distractions; I’m arresting you! After you recognize something as a distraction – here’s the not-so-easy part – get rid of it! Evict it. Remove yourself from its destructive path. And quickly. This looks different depending on the scenario and may involve creative maneuvering, but your future-self will thank you for it later.

It in a Nutshell: As if guarding a newborn baby from a vicious attacker – guard your mind, will and emotions from distractions and it’s dangerous off-spring.

– Jae Teague

What distractions, whether small or large, cause you to get off course? I want to hear all about it!

#shetalkslife

Burdened and Gifted – Gifted with a Burden

I am sensing transition, the type of life-changing transition that requires all of my attention, will-power and cooperation. I recognize that this is a good thing and that prayers will soon be answered. However, I am burdened with the possibility of my future being SO big, that I can’t handle it’s pressure or that I will disappoint those in whom I’ve been called to help.

I feel as though I am spiritually and emotionally being stripped of my past and I am about to receive the crown. My crown.

Exciting? Yes. But even more so burdensome, as I ponder if I am I ready for such a change. I sure hope so, because ready or not, it’s here!

I recognize that all of the mixed emotions of this time in my life is exactly what it feels like to be burdened and gifted.

#shetalkslife

If I Could Sum Up…

…this time period in my life as a life lesson for moving forward, it’s simply this:

If something’s not working or not fitting, don’t force it! You may “force” something that shouldn’t be, in place of what should be! And that, is TRAGIC!

It’s like trying to stuff your toes in a shoe 2 sizes too small. You can force it, but why when you can just go get a shoe that was made for you, …your shoe, your size.

By forcing relationship, forcing smiles, forcing prediction, I unknowingly forced myself into a reality not my own. An unhappy version of me that bended, ever so gracefully, to the March of everyone else’s beat, but my own.

I know that now.

My future looks great. It’s emptied of the political wishy-wash of past trauma. It’s emptied of people only seeking selfish gain. It’s emptied of life distractions and time “sucks”.

It’s full of unexpected blessings. It’s full of genuine laughter. Time well spent, jobs well done. Most of all, it involves me not trying to fit my size 10’s in someone else’s size 8.

Make Moves Today!

A lot of people confuse being busy with making moves (or moving forward), but the reality is that those things could not be farther apart in definition.

Being busy is the combination of time-sucking tasks, that could be in your best interest, or not! They consist of taking on additional chores at home or work that don’t belong to you, and running pointless errands instead of resting.

Moving forward means that you are doing or thinking in a way that promotes self awareness, joy, a sense of purpose and ultimately leads to your life’s goals. Moving forward sometimes means clearing your schedule rather than cluttering it. It sometimes means adopting “NO” as your favorite word.

Let’s reflect: Are you just being busy …or are you making moves?

Here are 3 tips to help you make better decisions about adding to your to-do-list:

Does this task help me…

Move with intention?

Move with authority?

Move with a plan?

#shetalkslife