It’s the day of the General Elections so this morning was a little hectic getting to the poles with the toddler in tow, but now that the dust has cleared, what’s left is just, …an average Tuesday! The mundaneness of this day has got me in a bit of a funk, and so I begin to write …
God’s amazing plans for my life are constantly on my mind. What I feel I’m called to accomplish is even bigger than my wildest dreams, and I have no doubt they will come true in due time. On the flip side I am still so amazed and grateful at how far I’ve come. I’m a far cry from the little father-less girl with low self-esteem and no hope of a bright future.
Yet and still where I currently sit, I find myself somewhere in the “middle” of it all. I have matured too much to ever go back there but I can’t seem to make my destiny appear any faster than what has already happened.
I use this space in time to allow the Lord to minister to me in a way that only he knows how. I start to meditate on the story of the Israelites and how after they were freed from the strongholds of the Egyptians they still had to go through the wilderness before entering into their promise land. God could have just zapped them from one place to the next with a snap of a finger. (After all, they were in captivity for hundreds of years – I believe. Did they not deserve to be in paradise sooner than later?)
The answer I believe, has nothing to do with what they deserve, and more-so to do with their “capacity”. Due to the mental, physical, psychological and spiritual abuse they suffered, it was necessary for their own survival and longevity to go through a “cleansing” period. God used this time to heal them in more ways than one, so that when they got to their promise land they would need to understand, without a doubt, some basic principles that the “broken” version of them would not have the capacity to hold.
Paralleling their journey to my own and recognizing I am definitely in my own wilderness of sorts, I am forced to admit these painful lessons have helped to shape the bondage-free version of me. Because I know my calling is more specifically geared around helping others find their Identity, I realized I did not know who I was prior to my season of wilderness.
It has been in my wilderness that I have discovered self-worth, self-love and self-respect. It is in my wilderness that I have gotten closer to God. It has been in my wilderness that I have developed into a woman with the capacity of flourishing, and not just existing, in the realm of destiny. In the wilderness I am discovering Jae Vonne – And I really like her!
So back to today, this normal Tuesday, November 6th, 2018! This is the day for laundry, meal prepping, wiping snotty noses, getting stuck in rush-hour traffic, falling asleep before completing all my to-do’s. This is the day that doesn’t look like it leads to destiny – but it does. It doesn’t feel grand. It doesn’t feel like paradise is just around the corner. And, if I am honest, I mean really honest …this season is still very uncomfortable and even sometimes more painful than being in “captivity”. But just like the Israelites I have to realize it’s necessity in my overall life, much like today. The Average Tuesday.
Lesson learned: Trusting God on the average Tuesdays is a bit of practice for Trusting God in the wilderness.
She. Talks. Life.